The modern football fan

[JudgeTedd]

There are times when The Modern Football Fan (TMFF) really let’s themselves down. This tweet being a prime example.



The #6 shirt in question that was famously worn the Tony ‘Mr Arsenal’ Adams, one of the best central defenders of his generation? And currently occupied by the ever improving Gabriel?

But it’s not that, that lets this fan down. It’s the fact that squad numbers have been in place for years now.

Why do these fans think that saying “Player X plays like a typical #9/6/10/41” makes them look they know what they’re talking about? It really doesn’t.

[kancutlawns]

Modern fans are generally wankers. Big them up as the greatest thing since sliced break then turn on them two matches on when they’ve not been at their best. It’s loads of shite about stats like xG and little else qualitative data. Bollocks terminology like “player has a high ceiling”, fans becoming economists by saying team players should be sold before they’re 28 otherwise the club will get nothing for them and thinking running a football club is like FIFA football.

[JudgeTedd]

They also use things like DM, LWB or AM. All in the vain hope of appearing more intelligent and interesting than they actually are.

[henrycrs]

Modern fans are generally wankers.

Nothing else to say Lawnsy!

[Northern Troglodite]

Stat obsessed tosspots who like wimmins football too

[Sadact7]

My favourite are the bellends who describe themselves as “purists” because they enjoy slick, passing football.

Because obviously the rest of us proles just want to watch centre halves booting the ball 80 yards upfield for 90 minutes.

30+ years back these little tits would’ve shit themselves if they’d gone anywhere near a football ground.

[Sid Pervcat]

My favourite are the bellends who describe themselves as “purists” because they enjoy slick, passing football.

Because obviously the rest of us proles just want to watch centre halves booting the ball 80 yards upfield for 90 minutes.

30+ years back these little tits would’ve shit themselves if they’d gone anywhere near a football ground.

Most of the TS "Pundits"

[JW90]

Love a chant to the tune of Sloop John B. Must've been at least 10 versions of this tonight.

[Clivert]

I can't stand that prick 'Thogden' on YouTube, he seems to get free tickets for every game he goes too - does that make him a 'true' football fan?

[henrycrs]

I can't stand that prick 'Thogden' on YouTube, he seems to get free tickets for every game he goes too - does that make him a 'true' football fan?

Another massive wanker who would rather watch a game through his mobile phone.

I’d permaban all these YouTube cunts from all grounds.

[shabbado]

Yeah but what's the xG per game?

[Sadact7]

I can't stand that prick 'Thogden' on YouTube, he seems to get free tickets for every game he goes too - does that make him a 'true' football fan?

Another massive wanker who would rather watch a game through his mobile phone.

I’d permaban all these YouTube cunts from all grounds.

I’d help you so that I could add it to my assist stats.

Then the taxi driver who dropped me off could be credited with a pre-assist.

We’d get a 3.0 on our XC (expected cuntings) index.

[kancutlawns]

Twats who on a player being linked to their club base their entire verdict on their ability, suitability for the side, potential, value, ability to adjust on shitty two minute YouTube videos of them. Of course, these vacuous cunts know more than the manager, coaches, performance analysts and everyone else who is paid yo do the job.

[JimmyDee]

I'm a modern football-fan, yeah, right?
I'll scream incoherently on a phone-in, yeah?
I don't GO to the games, yeah, right, but whatever it is, it's a DISGRACE!
My little boy was in TEARS. He said to me ... "daddy, why are the bad men doing bad things?"
So I said to him, "Here's how you send a death-threat to a linesman (or woman!) who gave a throw-in the wrong way."
And he said "but death-threats are a BAD things aren't they, daddy?" And I said, " No, child. talkSPORT will glorify your "passion".

And he said "well, that makes no sense whatsoever".

[subsub]

Fathers who spend hours creating these "[player x] can I have your shirt, pleeeeease?!?!" signs, then hand them to their kids and get them to wave them frantically at full time, as if they're only doing it to put a smile on their kid's face.

Fucking needy cunts.