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Ant has been arrested for drink driving this afternoon, being involved in a crash which injured people. Allegedly he told his lawyer ‘I’m a celebrity get me out of here’

never knew how this fella ammassed a fortune

ex wife a disgrace

he's a chain smoker

no sympathy

Time for a press conference and a checklist..

Lots of tearful remorse - Check

Lots of reference to 'personal problems' but also clearly mention "that's no excuse" several times - Check

Lots of apologies to those involved in the crash, especially the child, specifically the child. - Check

Thank everyone at length for the 'wonderful support' you have had from family, friends and fans "at this difficult time" and how you feel so bad for letting then down, (more tears at this moment) - Check

Tearfully go into detail about your decades old relationship with Dec and how you hope that isn't ruined by your "second of stupidity" (mention specifically Dec's "amazing support") - Check

Finally, mention that you are "taking some time out" to "seek proper help" and that you would appreciate privacy, time and space to do this. - Check

Tearfully sign off the press conference by apologising once more to everyone you have let down . (Loads of tears now though, ensure too inconsolable to take questions). Then stand up and leave being physically assisted to walk such is your grief by a PA... - Check

Wait six months, do a 'heart to heart' piece in the papers a week before your return to TV to present some shite programme with your buddy, detailing "how hard' the previous six months have been for you and thanking everyone for their support and how the experience has made you stronger and "a better person". - Check

Make sure the interview clearly states you took no money from the interview but the paper donated the fee to a kids charity and carry on with your career.... - Check..

Jamie Carragher must be a little more relaxed this morning..

mikebv wrote:Time for a press conference and a checklist..

Lots of tearful remorse - Check

Lots of reference to 'personal problems' but also clearly mention "that's no excuse" several times - Check

Lots of apologies to those involved in the crash, especially the child, specifically the child. - Check

Thank everyone at length for the 'wonderful support' you have had from family, friends and fans "at this difficult time" and how you feel so bad for letting then down, (more tears at this moment) - Check

Tearfully go into detail about your decades old relationship with Dec and how you hope that isn't ruined by your "second of stupidity" (mention specifically Dec's "amazing support") - Check

Finally, mention that you are "taking some time out" to "seek proper help" and that you would appreciate privacy, time and space to do this. - Check

Tearfully sign off the press conference by apologising once more to everyone you have let down . (Loads of tears now though, ensure too inconsolable to take questions). Then stand up and leave being physically assisted to walk such is your grief by a PA... - Check

Wait six months, do a 'heart to heart' piece in the papers a week before your return to TV to present some shite programme with your buddy, detailing "how hard' the previous six months have been for you and thanking everyone for their support and how the experience has made you stronger and "a better person". - Check

Make sure the interview clearly states you took no money from the interview but the paper donated the fee to a kids charity and carry on with your career.... - Check..

Jamie Carragher must be a little more relaxed this morning..

That's absolutely bang on!

mikebv has put it perfectly.

Just glad no other people were seriously harmed or even worse. They are the victims in this.

mikebv wrote:Time for a press conference and a checklist..

Lots of tearful remorse - Check

Lots of reference to 'personal problems' but also clearly mention "that's no excuse" several times - Check

Lots of apologies to those involved in the crash, especially the child, specifically the child. - Check

Thank everyone at length for the 'wonderful support' you have had from family, friends and fans "at this difficult time" and how you feel so bad for letting then down, (more tears at this moment) - Check

Tearfully go into detail about your decades old relationship with Dec and how you hope that isn't ruined by your "second of stupidity" (mention specifically Dec's "amazing support") - Check

Finally, mention that you are "taking some time out" to "seek proper help" and that you would appreciate privacy, time and space to do this. - Check

Tearfully sign off the press conference by apologising once more to everyone you have let down . (Loads of tears now though, ensure too inconsolable to take questions). Then stand up and leave being physically assisted to walk such is your grief by a PA... - Check

Wait six months, do a 'heart to heart' piece in the papers a week before your return to TV to present some shite programme with your buddy, detailing "how hard' the previous six months have been for you and thanking everyone for their support and how the experience has made you stronger and "a better person". - Check

Make sure the interview clearly states you took no money from the interview but the paper donated the fee to a kids charity and carry on with your career.... - Check..

Jamie Carragher must be a little more relaxed this morning..

Great post.

Ant and wreck

Pant and Keck

Looks absolutely leathered on the new video

Back into rehab and show pulled.

Last week ITV show This Morning ran a poll asking if Sky should sack odious Scouse scrote (although there is no other type of Scouser #jft39) Jamie Carragher - did Philip Schofield (same agent as Ant) and Holly Tits (same agent as Ant) insist that they ran the same poll this morning on This Morning as what Ant (or was it Dec) did was far more serious than gobbing on a teenager.

Dec seeing his career going down the plughole

The news bulletins about this dick have been sickening, fawning, over sympathtic, and irresponsible. It's just been excuse after excuse. Irrespective of his condition, he chose drink to an amount wich resulted in him to being over the limit, and then drive a vehicle.

He then crashed the car endangering life, but all we have heard is, well the three year old is OK, like it's OK then.

Will he lose his licence? Will he be punished? Or will his highly paid solicitor get him off. I wonder.

Should join carra doing 45 in pentonville

Dec should just bite the bullet, ditch the junkie and go solo.

PJ and drunken