The Official World Snooker Championship Thread(sponsored by Fatt Maude)

[carcinogen]

Re-rack city. Fuck sake.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Piggins should be hung in a fucksling and violated by previous champions using their butts shafts tips and balls

[carcinogen]

Get this one to do a damn pole-dance with a cue on the table during half-time.

[JW90]

These two planks do realise we have to work tomorrow??!!

[carcinogen]

I think Selby thinks he's Andy Murray, constantly muttering under-his-breath, looking to his family in the box. Mark, you're holding a thin piece of wood pushing balls into holes on a felt covered table mate. Judy Murray wouldn't have it.

I've got a feeling this cunt is going on into the wee small hours. Fuck sake.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

What do you think have receded further - John boys hair or his tiny nuts?

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

The Jouster should be forced to wear a hairnet. He's dripping brylcreem in the pigsters eyeline

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Willie Thorne should hoover up the last of his gak and run in naked, trying to "pot" one of his bollocks with a coke erection

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Hazel should ask Davis and Parrot straight up: which of you boys has the bigger schwantz?

[carcinogen]

Just a hairnet? The self-styled Jester should be wearing a hat with bells on. Otherwise his nickname is slightly fucking pointless. Is he funny? What's his stand-up routine like? If punching the table and shouting when he wins is 'his act' then I think it's a rather poor act.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

I fear it's ironic like what most fingz r deez dayz bro

[carcinogen]

Willie Thorne should hoover up the last of his gak and run in naked, trying to "pot" one of his bollocks with a coke erection

Willie is so fucking desperate now, Gary airlifts daily supplies of crushed-up Walkers Crisps for him to snort. Once, Willie's supply of crushed-up salt and vinegar ran low and he accidentally ingested too many sleeping pills. Of course, nobody knew Willie was slurring his words and uttering incoherent bollocks due to an overdose, they thought it was his usual schtick.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Is Ray Reardon dead? If not they should sit him in a shopping trolley, push him in to the sesame street theme and let the lairy fucker give piggo a juicy lovebite

[JW90]

How many times a day do you reckon Dennis Taylor mentions 1985? 27 is my guess.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

I want the table to rise up to the close encounters "five notes"