The Official World Snooker Championship Thread(sponsored by Fatt Maude)

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

ROCKET BACKFIRED UP OWN ARSEHOLE

[mark]

How fucking bent is snooker? YE CHRIST you gullible fucks. John "shited maself" Higgins was the tip of the cueberg

Everything that involves prize-money / fame is bent. Keep up. You reckon Barry Hernia has knobbled all the balls with a mini gyroscope and radio transmitter and he sits at home with a controller subtly moving the balls around so certain players miss or get 'a kick' ? I fucking do.

Listen you terrible cunt I fucking INVENTED the "all sport is drugged/rigged" forum exposé and if the pissing search on here worked I'd prove it. I was merely re-dipping my cock in the ONION OF TRUTH

It's being fixed as you post. Like most things.

[carcinogen]

Listen you terrible cunt I fucking INVENTED the "all sport is drugged/rigged" forum exposé and if the pissing search on here worked I'd prove it. I was merely re-dipping my cock in the ONION OF TRUTH

You know what I think? I think you should stand for the IAAF, UCI, WPBSA and all professional sport administration presidencies simultaneously. And when elected (I'd vote for you) you should make it mandatory that PED's be taken in all sports, Seb Coe should be given all the money in existence, small engines should be put into bikes during the Tour De France, Joey Barton should be allowed to bet on every sport being played on earth and any one mentioning Karen Brady should be made to say 'Pretty' Karen before speaking to her. I could go on, but you get the idea. Let's fucking hang them by their own petards. The cunts. Give them all what they fucking want and watch them implode in a compulsive money masturbation circus fuck-fest. Just give all the greedy, cheating fuckers what they want. Nothing good will come of it and they'll eventually realise how fucking insecure, classless and fucking base they actually are. It's tough love. Do it. Do it now and stop projecting.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Listen you terrible cunt I fucking INVENTED the "all sport is drugged/rigged" forum exposé and if the pissing search on here worked I'd prove it. I was merely re-dipping my cock in the ONION OF TRUTH

You know what I think? I think you should stand for the IAAF, UCI, WPBSA and all professional sport administration presidencies simultaneously. And when elected (I'd vote for you) you should make it mandatory that PED's be taken in all sports, Seb Coe should be given all the money in existence, small engines should be put into bikes during the Tour De France, Joey Barton should be allowed to bet on every sport being played on earth and any one mentioning Karen Brady should be made to say 'Pretty' Karen before speaking to her. I could go on, but you get the idea. Let's fucking hang them by their own petards. The cunts. Give them all what they fucking want and watch them implode in a compulsive money masturbation circus fuck-fest. Just give all the greedy, cheating fuckers what they want. Nothing good will come of it and they'll eventually realise how fucking insecure, classless and fucking base they actually are. It's tough love. Do it. Do it now and stop projecting.

Yes. YES.

[carcinogen]

Feel free to steal this (and these) idea(s) and sell it to the CUNTS on Dragons Den (BBC). Small robotic hoovers clean the baize during the interval. Said robotic baize-hoovers are sponsored by 'BetFred' or some other hideous gambling company. Also, a spare 'clean' white ball (or multiple balls) in the pocket of the referee to curtail the 'cleaning' of 'balls' during a 'session'. John Higgins to be shot.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

No. John Piggins yes. He gets stripped and tied to a table made of a giant green square sausage. Various angry russians fire ball bearings into his anus, armpits and eye sockets. Then Hazel bungees down and pierces his skull with a syringe full of hot rat shit.

[carcinogen]

John Higgins last saw the sun when he was ten. The pasty-faced overweight fucker was so scared by a group of men wearing shell-suits speaking in a Russian accent he agreed to 'throw' a game. Firstly, who give a fucking shit. Pick all the balls up and throw them into the fat fucking football-shirt-wearing oiks in The Crucible audience for all I care. It'll reinforce their self-loathing and they'll thank you for the abuse.

John agreed to meet our Russian friends in a hotel room because their trouser-press was said the be the one of the best and he wanted a razor-sharp crease when he bent over with the rest. Poor love was scared. That's why he agreed to cheat. Who can blame him? Poor John. It must be hard to look into the mirror every day and think: I'm John Higgins.

Even though all this is playing-out in The Crucible, it's no witch-hunt. You see what I did there? Oh FUCK OFF.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

KLASSIK KARK

[AlcoholBrazil]

Ronnie knocked in a consolation 146 to surely claim the highest break prize.
Selby scored a 132 and 139 in consecutive frames and is our best hope of keeping the title out of China.

[Steve Hunt]

Ronnie gone

Switch off time for me. Have no further interest in the tournament, I'm afraid.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Ronnie gone

Switch off time for me. Have no further interest in the tournament, I'm afraid.

That's just what he wants you to do. You played right into his hands.

Meanwhile it's kicking off. The leicester molester is getting his cock out

[Steve Hunt]

Ronnie gone

Switch off time for me. Have no further interest in the tournament, I'm afraid.

That's just what he wants you to do. You played right into his hands.

Meanwhile it's kicking off. The leicester molester is getting his cock out

Maybe - but no Ronnie, no interest.

Wasn't like that in the past as the game had plenty of 'characters'. So, if one (say Jimmy White) got knocked out, you still had others like Higgins to follow.

Now they are all dull robots - with the exception of Ronnie.

When he calls it quits, snooker really is fucked

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

You just have to look harder. There's some right fucking cunts in the top 32.

[carcinogen]

[
Now they are all dull robots - with the exception of Ronnie.

The 'Jester' from Leicester. Whoever came up with that moniker needs to have a fuckin' word with himself. Speaking of robots ...

[carcinogen]

If anyone is suffering from insomnia, or some other sleeping disorder, may I suggest watching a frame or two of Higgins versus Hawkings. Yeeeesh. Oh, yes, and the commentary team is Denis Taylor and Willie Thorn. Fuck me it's bad. haha.