Kancutlawns

[paolo]

pm

[paolo]

In my thgoughts, Lawnsy

go with the flow, look after family, but keep checking in here so everyone knows ur coping, as difficult as it is

[Sid Pervcat]

In my thgoughts, Lawnsy

go with the flow, look after family, but keep checking in here so everyone knows ur coping, as difficult as it is

This.

[delboy1983]

Lawns ,just caught up with your news after my ban,condolences to you and your family,tragic to lose your dad .

[ccreds]

My sympathies Lawns with your Dad.

[kancutlawns]

Thank you so much fellas. Feel shit driving home from work in the evenings. Even on turning to Drive I don’t feel the usual rage. Had so many guests round in the last ten days I’m really just going through the motions.

Hated the prospect of being at home over Easter so taking the wife and children down to London over the weekend. God knows what we’ll do but it’s good just to get away. Would have preferred if we had the time to go further away but then it wouldn’t have been appropriate.

Can barely raise a smile these days. Feel guilt about my Dad which I didn’t feel when my mum died, it was more pleasant with her, just felt love for her. He was a tough old boy, hard to please much I’m sure like the dads of a lot of us here. But a good man with strong principles and didn’t suffer fools. I feel a twat when I think about him, tharbU somehow let him down. We quarrelled a lot over the years. Never really saw eye to eye. Close but very argumentative.

One tear rolled down my cheek yesterday but that was it. Bottled it all up and it’s just emptiness inside.

I’ll get back to normal soon but really just on emotionless auto pilot.

Cheers again for your kind words everyone and it’s soothing to know that you’re all sincere and sympathetic.

[kancutlawns]

Just as a background, he had pneumonia weeks ago and this triggered a huge heart attack. He had a ventricular failure which meant that the heart muscle failed and he had heart failure for twenty minutes. He was resuscitated but was in hospital for a month, had a pacemaker.

He was discharged which was what he and all of us wanted. The nights were torture for all of us listening to him wheezing so loudly and in obvious distress. Then he collapsed on the morning. I knew he had gone. Paramedics came round and declared him dead and hour after but I’m sure he was gone when I tried to revive him. But at least I was with him. My sister and my wife were in pieces.

[kevin04]

Sorry to hear that, Lawnsy.

Heartbreaking hearing how you and your family are feeling, but we all love you in this 'ere bailwick, and I hope you know that.

Take time to heal, grieve and remember the loving moments. And we'll see you soon!

[Maude]

Very sorry to hear your news.

Hope your family are doing OK.

[Carlos J]

Just saw your latest post, kancut. Heartbreaking, yet lovely as well, with your memories of him. Remember that and good old strong dad.

Best wishes over Easter and try to enjoy the time with the family.

[Bad Blue 2000]

You were with him at the end, that definitely counts for a lot.

[Geezer]

Just read this KCL sorry for your loss unfortunately it's something we all go through and you'll get there. Take it easy fella!

[Reg]

Just read this KCL sorry for your loss unfortunately it's something we all go through and you'll get there. Take it easy fella!

Nude condolences - Kankers will enjoy that.

[Geezer]

Just read this KCL sorry for your loss unfortunately it's something we all go through and you'll get there. Take it easy fella!

Nude condolences - Kankers will enjoy that.

Wasn't nude at the time but soon will be if that is any consolation.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

It most certainly is