My Mum Just Died

[Lord Notin Kwestion]

I'm sure you made her proud horse.

RIP horse's mum.

[carcinogen]

81 isn't a bad knock for the old gal. Be proud. She must have one hell of a constitution, she gave birth to you ffs.

“It’s so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.”
–John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent

[ikhlaq786]

Not pleasantly either. Weeks in a care home...I use the word 'care' loosely. One of the carers was built like a brick shite house and cast member of Prisoner Cell Block H. She died in Scunthorpe General Hospital at 6.29pm this evening. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. She was emaciated, her mouth and lips turned black, she was 81. Born on October 21st, 1936. I am now Motherless. (Thought it best to post this here rather than in pandy)

I am so sorry to hear that, as losing one parent is hard & losing the other a tragedy.

[Glazed Earthenware Horse]

Thanks so much for all the kind messages. I shouldn't really have put this thread up, but brandy and grief made me do it. The bastard and bitch of life. Spent the day with family looking at old photos. Refused to do a group hug. I'm not a group hug kind of person.

[kevin04]

Good man, Horse.

I hope you and the family are doing OK. Try the group hug tomorrow

[Glazed Earthenware Horse]

Cheers Kevin. Will take time but I am told it does get better. I fucking hope so.

[delboy1983]

Keep busy if you can I organised both parents funerals and doing that kept me going both times.
All the best Horse .

[Suhari]

Saddened to hear this GEH.

Hope you are bearing up. Remember the good times!

[henrycrs]

Horse, I can’t imagine how you feel mate, but I do know that you’re a decent bloke and you’ll do your best for her

[tennisman]

Very sorry to hear this Horse.

I can relate.

This evening, as I have done for every Friday evening since April 21st last year, I track the time as on that evening, it was my Mum's last night.

She died in the early hours and as agreed with my Sister, she rang me. The phone going at 2am meant one thing and even though we knew it was coming, the shock of the reality was like being taken into some sort of parallel universe.

I'd been with her all afternoon but the carers believed she would last the weekend and I drove back up to the NW from Cheltenham, as I'd done more times than could be counted in the previous 6 weeks. Sadly, it was not to be.

She lived a good life, albeit with a tough childhood. Actually, from the age my father died, when she was 50, although she grieved him terribly, she was an incredible role model to anyone on how to carry on and make the most of your life. Effectively, she created a 2nd life for herself in the last 43 years from 50 to 93. Whilst she gave us everything, if there is one daily mantra I might be heard saying out loud these last few months, it would probably be, 'Come on, get on with it. What's next?'. Despite a few bad situations, she never gave up and kept going to the end.

She would be the first to tell me to get on with things and not be held back in grieving for her.

Thing is, when we lose our parents, it's such a deep thing. I have experienced emotions and feelings like I would never have imagined. My Sister said the other day, 'She's with us everywhere, isn't she?. I replied, 'She's in our very fibres'.

Thankfully for her and us, the care she received in Cheltenham Hospital and a local care home (St. Faiths) was outstanding.

You have my deepest condolences. May she RIP.

Via here, I'm sure I speak for many others, if going by the other posts above, if I can help you in any way, just shout.

[kevin04]

Lovely writing, Tennis-o.

This thread is restoring my faith in humanity.

Honestly folks, life is far too short for grudges, and petty grievances. Of course stick up for yourself, but don't ever let a silly argument over something ridiculous like music, sport or just being the 'bigger' man stop you from speaking and meeting people you really enjoy spending time with.

Look out for your family and friends, it goes so quickly.

And enjoy yourself - go treat yourself to that thing you've always wanted to do.

Just go do it, and live it up.

[tennisman]

Lovely writing, Tennis-o.

This thread is restoring my faith in humanity.

Honestly folks, life is far too short for grudges, and petty grievances. Of course stick up for yourself, but don't ever let a silly argument over something ridiculous like music, sport or just being the 'bigger' man stop you from speaking and meeting people you really enjoy spending time with.

Look out for your family and friends, it goes so quickly.

And enjoy yourself - go treat yourself to that thing you've always wanted to do.

Just go do it, and live it up.

Thanks Kevin.

Indeed. Go for it - We have one trip and the clock is ticking.

[Suhari]

Very sorry to hear this Horse.

I can relate.

This evening, as I have done for every Friday evening since April 21st last year, I track the time as on that evening, it was my Mum's last night.

She died in the early hours and as agreed with my Sister, she rang me. The phone going at 2am meant one thing and even though we knew it was coming, the shock of the reality was like being taken into some sort of parallel universe.

I'd been with her all afternoon but the carers believed she would last the weekend and I drove back up to the NW from Cheltenham, as I'd done more times than could be counted in the previous 6 weeks. Sadly, it was not to be.

She lived a good life, albeit with a tough childhood. Actually, from the age my father died, when she was 50, although she grieved him terribly, she was an incredible role model to anyone on how to carry on and make the most of your life. Effectively, she created a 2nd life for herself in the last 43 years from 50 to 93. Whilst she gave us everything, if there is one daily mantra I might be heard saying out loud these last few months, it would probably be, 'Come on, get on with it. What's next?'. Despite a few bad situations, she never gave up and kept going to the end.

She would be the first to tell me to get on with things and not be held back in grieving for her.

Thing is, when we lose our parents, it's such a deep thing. I have experienced emotions and feelings like I would never have imagined. My Sister said the other day, 'She's with us everywhere, isn't she?. I replied, 'She's in our very fibres'.

Thankfully for her and us, the care she received in Cheltenham Hospital and a local care home (St. Faiths) was outstanding.

You have my deepest condolences. May she RIP.

Via here, I'm sure I speak for many others, if going by the other posts above, if I can help you in any way, just shout.

That's wonderful. Moving and very human.

Whilst we all sit as faceless usernames, keyboard warriors or "idiots on the forum" - this reminds me that are still all people; with hopes, dreams and unfortunately sometimes sadness.

[genehunt1973]

So sorry for your loss Horse,thoughts are with you pal.

[Glazed Earthenware Horse]

Tennisman, thank you so much. That has helped me a great deal. I thought this morning might be better...but the grief is still a baby in swaddling clothes. I checked my phone and found my Mum's phone number in the menu. I collapsed in a sobbing heap. I'd always dreaded my Mum dying. When it happens it's as bad as you knew it would be, but not. If that makes sense. I envisaged my self after Mum's demise for so long, wandering around shopping centres wailing. Obviously I haven't done that. Perhaps because my Mum was such a lover of shopping. Keep looking at the old photos...and one more recent. Her 80th birthday in Scarborough. The place she loved the most.

Very sorry to hear this Horse.

I can relate.

This evening, as I have done for every Friday evening since April 21st last year, I track the time as on that evening, it was my Mum's last night.

She died in the early hours and as agreed with my Sister, she rang me. The phone going at 2am meant one thing and even though we knew it was coming, the shock of the reality was like being taken into some sort of parallel universe.

I'd been with her all afternoon but the carers believed she would last the weekend and I drove back up to the NW from Cheltenham, as I'd done more times than could be counted in the previous 6 weeks. Sadly, it was not to be.

She lived a good life, albeit with a tough childhood. Actually, from the age my father died, when she was 50, although she grieved him terribly, she was an incredible role model to anyone on how to carry on and make the most of your life. Effectively, she created a 2nd life for herself in the last 43 years from 50 to 93. Whilst she gave us everything, if there is one daily mantra I might be heard saying out loud these last few months, it would probably be, 'Come on, get on with it. What's next?'. Despite a few bad situations, she never gave up and kept going to the end.

She would be the first to tell me to get on with things and not be held back in grieving for her.

Thing is, when we lose our parents, it's such a deep thing. I have experienced emotions and feelings like I would never have imagined. My Sister said the other day, 'She's with us everywhere, isn't she?. I replied, 'She's in our very fibres'.

Thankfully for her and us, the care she received in Cheltenham Hospital and a local care home (St. Faiths) was outstanding.

You have my deepest condolences. May she RIP.

Via here, I'm sure I speak for many others, if going by the other posts above, if I can help you in any way, just shout.