My Mum Just Died

[Glazed Earthenware Horse]

Thanks Rory.

[kancutlawns]

Good man Horse. You're doing your mum proud with your stoicism. Just gone past the eighth anniversary of my mum's death last weekend. The memories of that day are still so fresh in my mind . You'll feel your dear old mum's presence with you for some time. In time, it will go but you'll retain key memories of her as if she's still there and as if it was yesterday. Don't know about others here, but the funeral of my mum went like a dream. You get a lift from somewhere and it's almost as if you're in a trance. Someone or something helps you through, I believe in God but people do get some kind of aura, dreaded going back to work the week after she died, wasn't sure how I would get through the grief but did and again got some kind of lift.

You obviously had a great deal of love for your mum, her legacy to you is for you to keep going and to keep your chin up. You'll get through it. At some point, you'll want to let it all out, it will come. A lot of us here have lost parents or feel that parents who are living are nearing their final days or months. We just have to keep going. It's all been said here by others but don't cocoon yourself, open up to others even if it's on here - we have our conflicts on here but we do still look after each other and care for each other's well being - the worse thing is to get into a slump where you feel your feelings aren't worth venting. They are.

Nice posts from ten, we feel each others' pain.

Good luck Horsey.

[Sinbad]

Just seen this thread.

Sorry for your loss, mate.

[tennisman]

Good man Horse. You're doing your mum proud with your stoicism. Just gone past the eighth anniversary of my mum's death last weekend. The memories of that day are still so fresh in my mind . You'll feel your dear old mum's presence with you for some time. In time, it will go but you'll retain key memories of her as if she's still there and as if it was yesterday. Don't know about others here, but the funeral of my mum went like a dream. You get a lift from somewhere and it's almost as if you're in a trance. Someone or something helps you through, I believe in God but people do get some kind of aura, dreaded going back to work the week after she died, wasn't sure how I would get through the grief but did and again got some kind of lift.

You obviously had a great deal of love for your mum, her legacy to you is for you to keep going and to keep your chin up. You'll get through it. At some point, you'll want to let it all out, it will come. A lot of us here have lost parents or feel that parents who are living are nearing their final days or months. We just have to keep going. It's all been said here by others but don't cocoon yourself, open up to others even if it's on here - we have our conflicts on here but we do still look after each other and care for each other's well being - the worse thing is to get into a slump where you feel your feelings aren't worth venting. They are.

Nice posts from ten, we feel each others' pain.

Good luck Horsey.

Thanks KCL.

Met a neighbour the other day and she told me how her son (grown up) still can't look at a particular photo of their Dad who died 6 years ago.

As you and everyone else has said, you just have to hang in there and go a day at a time until you can go a week at a time etc.

As I said, I have written on here to try and be some sort of empathetic support for Horse and have been happy to do so.

But it has brought it all back for me from last year, although frankly, it has never gone away.

I even had the daft thought that I'd love to phone Mum today and have a catch up on what has happened since she left us last April, as if she could 'pop back' and see how we were all getting on.

Daft, completely daft.

[Glazed Earthenware Horse]

Many thanks to Sinbad and Kancut. Feel much better now. Just looking forward to the 16th. Keep re-writing my eulogy---so I must stop that and get the finished thing.

[kancutlawns]

Not sure if your dad's still living ten, but I've found that it's the over half that feels the sense of loneliness, isolation and sense of loss for far, far longer than their children and even grandchildren. The children as with me and my sister have their own lives, children of their own, an everyday routine, jobs but my dad keeps saying how much he misses my mum even after all these years and says that it's very acute now as his friends and now so old and they still have their wives. He's pretty old now, his mind's razor sharp but he's got lots of problems physically and is pretty much just at home. He used to play bridge and go to the health club with his friends. That's all gone by the way because he's a lot less mobile. This does cause conflicts between my wife and him as she thinks she has to run around after him whilst he says he nowhere he can go and doesn't want to be a burden on us. It's a very difficult balancing act.

[tennisman]

Not sure if your dad's still living ten, but I've found that it's the over half that feels the sense of loneliness, isolation and sense of loss for far, far longer than their children and even grandchildren. The children as with me and my sister have their own lives, children of their own, an everyday routine, jobs but my dad keeps saying how much he misses my mum even after all these years and says that it's very acute now as his friends and now so old and they still have their wives. He's pretty old now, his mind's razor sharp but he's got lots of problems physically and is pretty much just at home. He used to play bridge and go to the health club with his friends. That's all gone by the way because he's a lot less mobile. This does cause conflicts between my wife and him as she thinks she has to run around after him whilst he says he nowhere he can go and doesn't want to be a burden on us. It's a very difficult balancing act.

That's very interesting, KCL. Life doesn't get easier does it?

My Dad married my Mum as his 2nd marriage so was a bit older.

When he died in 1974, he was already 62 (although still young by today's standards) but my Mum was only 50.

93 when she died, she had another 43 years and effectively, created a 2nd life for herself - a tremendous role model for us now.

[Glazed Earthenware Horse]

Had to scrub the first line of the eulogy..'A family of bastards gathers here today...' don't fret---re-written it all.

[Basualdo]

Had to scrub the first line of the eulogy..'A family of bastards gathers here today...' don't fret---re-written it all.

Good. You want to try to avoid recreating this famous public speaking fox pass...

[Glazed Earthenware Horse]

Ha ha bas...classic.