Strange stories in local papers..................

Friendly chat, will be moderated if necessary.
Post Reply
User avatar
JimmyDee
Registered user
Posts: 7804
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:12 pm
Location: Maidstone

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by JimmyDee »

A heart-warming story from my local paper.

Image
"You don't have a world-view by just saying you hate Trump" - Norm Macdonald

"It seems as if every time I turn the station on at the moment this fucking mouth breather is polluting the airwaves with untrammeled bollocks." - MGA99

User avatar
Basualdo
Winner - POTY 2011!!!!
Posts: 17983
Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:31 am
Location: Selling some halogen lamps.

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by Basualdo »

The Postman Always Knocks One Out Twice.


http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sunda ... 85854.html
Northern Ireland delivery man who pleasured himself through letterbox caught on CCTV making unwanted delivery
By Sarah Henderson
February 27 2017

David Camblin, was caught after the owner of the house, which no-one lived in, became suspicious of why there was a puddle in the hallway.

Camblin (52), of The Mount, Tandragee, County Armagh, pleaded guilty at Fermanagh Magistrates Court last week to three counts of damaging a door and floor on dates between February 1 and August 12, 2016.

Last August a man who was having work done on his late mother’s house at Dairies Road in Monea became suspicious after observing a “puddle” on the floor just inside the front door of the house, the court heard.

He installed a CCTV camera to identify the culprit and footage showed a Parcelforce van pulling up outside the house one lunchtime. The man walked to the door and placed his private parts in the letterbox on the front door. On the recording he then appeared to masturbate through the letterbox.

The incident lasted a few minutes, before the man got back into the van and drove off.

On a second occasion a few days later the man noticed the camera as he was carrying out the sex act.

After police examined the footage Camblin was interviewed and denied urinating, but admitted masturbating.

Describing the act as “spontaneous”, he could offer no other explanation.

A prosecutor told the court that the injured party estimated the cost of this incident to be £5,406, but deputy district judge Philip Mateer questioned this amount. The property owner had not provided the court with any invoices.

He claimed that he had paid over £1,000 to replace the door, had employed the services of a cleaning doctor and that the CCTV had cost over £500 to install.

The owner further claimed that he had been unable to rent the property from February to October last year as a result of this “problem”, losing out on rent of £450 a month.

Defending solicitor, Rory Gillen, told the court that his client had worked for Parcelforce for 21 years and had never had any issues with the police before this incident.

Admitting that it was a “bizarre” case that fell outside sentencing guidelines, the solicitor said that Camblin had been married for 17 years.

Mr Gillen confirmed that the defendant had initially been suspended from work and later resigned. He is currently being supported financially by his wife.

The solicitor said that Camblin couldn’t really explain what had happened, but suggested that work-related stress may have been a “contributing factor”.

Deputy district judge, Philip Mateer, observed that the defendant was entitled to credit for entering guilty pleas, but told the court that the chances of him contesting the charges had been “remote”, given the CCTV evidence.

The judge said that, in the pre-sentence report, it was quite clear that Camblin had expressed “enormous shame and regret” for his behaviour, before adding that the probation service had tried to find out why he would act in such a “bizarre and distasteful fashion”.

Describing the set of circumstances as “simply inexplicable”, Mr Mateer noted that it was not a one-off, rather a “repeat gratification”.

The judge said that he did believe the defendant should pay compensation, but ruled that £500 was an appropriate figure.

Mr Matter said that, given the “unusual circumstances” of the criminal damage, it was important to place Camblin under the supervision of the Probation Service to make sure “nothing has been missed”.

The judge then imposed a Combination Order, consisting of 12 months on probation and 100 hours of community service.





And I dont know what this story is doing in out local press other than to make our letterbox fucking posties seem like Mormon nuns or something compared to the wurzels.

Man with cow slurry fetish jailed

Farmer Hairy Palmer.
A country Keys.
Proud Gammon

RIP Neil Peart 1952-2020.

User avatar
Steve Hunt
Winner POTY - 2010 !!!!
Posts: 12535
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2006 10:57 am
Location: The Effiminates Stadium,London, N7

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by Steve Hunt »

From my local newspaper (The Mercury - who subsub started out as an apprentice with):

http://www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/s ... story.html

"Sawbridgeworth man facing jail for stash of extreme animal porn"

User avatar
Basualdo
Winner - POTY 2011!!!!
Posts: 17983
Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:31 am
Location: Selling some halogen lamps.

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by Basualdo »

A local Yank paper from Casper, Wyoming is a little confused about the date of, age of combatants, and which side they were on in WW2.


Image
Proud Gammon

RIP Neil Peart 1952-2020.

User avatar
Carlos J
Forum Admin
Posts: 34288
Joined: Thu Aug 24, 2006 3:32 am
Location: Searching for Celia.

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by Carlos J »

Basualdo wrote:A local Yank paper from Casper, Wyoming is a little confused about the date of, age of combatants, and which side they were on in WW2.


Image

I think they just got the photo badly wrong. It is probably an example piece, maybe not, and dates are meant to show dates of service i.e. a Nam vet, not birth and death dates

Plus saying 'Memorial Day' which is November, when they correctly put 'Veterans Day' at the bottom, which is last Monday in May.

I could be reading it wrong though..
Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline.

Non mihi, non tibi, sed nobis.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

User avatar
m4rkb
Registered user
Posts: 11315
Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2008 1:35 pm
Location: Ape City

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by m4rkb »

Image

User avatar
m4 colin
Registered user
Posts: 1126
Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 5:57 pm

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by m4 colin »

m4rkb wrote:Image
Wow I hate kids but not that much :o
I heard gods fast but I'd have to go up against him before I believe it

User avatar
m4rkb
Registered user
Posts: 11315
Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2008 1:35 pm
Location: Ape City

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by m4rkb »

m4 colin wrote:
m4rkb wrote:Image
Wow I hate kids but not that much :o


Latest reports suggest Harry works in the prison kitchen. :wink:

User avatar
Basualdo
Winner - POTY 2011!!!!
Posts: 17983
Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:31 am
Location: Selling some halogen lamps.

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by Basualdo »

Thats fucking immense! I dont know whether to kiss Harry or smash the dirty cunt in the face.
Proud Gammon

RIP Neil Peart 1952-2020.

User avatar
Carlos J
Forum Admin
Posts: 34288
Joined: Thu Aug 24, 2006 3:32 am
Location: Searching for Celia.

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by Carlos J »

Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline.

Non mihi, non tibi, sed nobis.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

User avatar
mark
Forum Admin
Posts: 2815
Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 9:37 pm
Location: Everywhere

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by mark »

All in a day's work for the working musician.....
Liverpool indie band Space questioned by police ON STAGE over false spliff claims

Blundering police took to a music stage to quiz Liverpool indie band Space over false claims they were smoking a 'spliff'.

A spectator told officers that a member of the Brit pop group, who were performing at the Widnes Select Security Stadium , was holding a suspicious looking cigarette.
Read more at http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liv ... 14141#ICID

User avatar
JimmyDee
Registered user
Posts: 7804
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:12 pm
Location: Maidstone

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by JimmyDee »

http://www.kentonline.co.uk/maidstone/n ... sh-123996/

A man was sprayed with an incapacitant by police when he locked himself in a Maidstone cafe during a stand-off after narrowly avoiding passers-by with his car.
Pedestrians were forced to jump out of the way when a car was driven down Union Street and Week Street before pulling up outside the Munch House in King Street.
The muddy man, who was wearing no shoes, ordered a breakfast of bangers and mash and paid with his credit card before locking the cafe door.
Cafe worker Laura Castle said: “The police were telling us he was driving down Week Street and they called for back-up because of what happened in Westminster.
“He came in at 8am to order some breakfast and said he would come back in 20 minutes to put some socks on because he was barefoot.
“He was wearing smart trousers and a smart coat but he was muddy.”
The man parked the car and took refuge at the cafe while shouting at police officers through the front door.
Miss Castle, 29, said the sockless man repeated he was not armed and said he only wanted to eat his morning meal of sausage and mash.
"You don't have a world-view by just saying you hate Trump" - Norm Macdonald

"It seems as if every time I turn the station on at the moment this fucking mouth breather is polluting the airwaves with untrammeled bollocks." - MGA99

User avatar
Basualdo
Winner - POTY 2011!!!!
Posts: 17983
Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:31 am
Location: Selling some halogen lamps.

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by Basualdo »

JimmyDee wrote:http://www.kentonline.co.uk/maidstone/n ... sh-123996/

A man was sprayed with an incapacitant by police when he locked himself in a Maidstone cafe during a stand-off after narrowly avoiding passers-by with his car.
Pedestrians were forced to jump out of the way when a car was driven down Union Street and Week Street before pulling up outside the Munch House in King Street.
The muddy man, who was wearing no shoes, ordered a breakfast of bangers and mash and paid with his credit card before locking the cafe door.
Cafe worker Laura Castle said: “The police were telling us he was driving down Week Street and they called for back-up because of what happened in Westminster.
“He came in at 8am to order some breakfast and said he would come back in 20 minutes to put some socks on because he was barefoot.
“He was wearing smart trousers and a smart coat but he was muddy.”
The man parked the car and took refuge at the cafe while shouting at police officers through the front door.
Miss Castle, 29, said the sockless man repeated he was not armed and said he only wanted to eat his morning meal of sausage and mash.

"Falling Down' on the Medway.

Except Bangers and mash instead of a Whammy Burger.
Proud Gammon

RIP Neil Peart 1952-2020.

User avatar
m4rkb
Registered user
Posts: 11315
Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2008 1:35 pm
Location: Ape City

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by m4rkb »

http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/mi ... g-13584398

A man was treated in hospital after video showed him being dragged across the ground and allegedly mauled by a police dog .

The footage showed a man, named in the caption as Andy Cash, on the floor as police responded to a complaint of the theft of roof tiles from the former North Worcestershire Golf Course in Northfield .

The police watchdog is now looking into the matter.
:lol:

Here's a picture of the current Police Watchdog.

Image

User avatar
Shedboy
Registered user
Posts: 3328
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2004 3:31 am
Location: Grampian Shed.

Re: Strange stories in local papers..................

Post by Shedboy »

Not a strange story but I'll put it here anyway to save opening another topic.

Our local shite rag has helpfully used a stock photo of a rock, not even the rock in question, to illustrate its story. Really, do they think we're all that thick that we don't know what a fucking rock looks like?
The Evening Telegraph at its best.

https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/s ... eferred-2/

Post Reply