The noble dark arts of commentary exposed - Dougie is probably old enough to remember these and probably penned a letter to The Times to complain:
For the 1938 tour of England, at the height of Don Bradman’s suffocating fame, they employed a team of commentators, transcribers and special effects men to bring ball-by-ball “synthetic” commentary to Australians roughly five minutes after the action had taken place on the other side of the world. Taking the methodology of condensed commentary to its logical conclusion, and building on techniques tried out during the 1934 tour of England, cables were sent to Australia at the end of every over with rudimentary information on each ball: who had bowled it, who had faced it, how many runs were scored.
Occasionally extra details such as whether it had been pulled through midwicket or driven down the ground would be added. A team of four would take the cables and interpret from the information which fielders were stationed where, producing a pictorial pitch map for the commentator to refer to. Another man would play a vinyl recording of appreciative crowd noises and try to get it to coincide with the rhythm of the commentator’s delivery.
The commentator himself, usually Alan McGilvray (who would appear on the BBC for every Ashes tour to England from 1948 until 1984), would thwack a pencil against a block of wood to simulate the noise of bat on ball. Video recordings are available on YouTube of the 1938 commentaries. The regularity with which McGilvray mistimes this elementary special effect, such that it takes place a full second after he’s described the stroke, is bafflingly bizarre. The whole enterprise is both quaintly naïve and technologically sophisticated for the times. If Heath Robinson had done cricket commentary this is exactly what it would have looked like.